Chapter 2: A Whole New World
Skipping the antique glass-enclosed elevator, Indiana Jones bounds up the stairs two at a time into the private Club 33 dining room typically reserved for Disneyland's most well-heeled guests. Walt Disney built the exclusive second-story restaurant above New Orleans Square as a place to woo captains of industry he hoped would invest in Disneyland. The fine dining restaurant famously remains the only place that serves alcohol in the family-friendly park.
At the top of the stairs, Indy pauses to peruse the wood-paneled room lit by crystal chandeliers. The place is brimming with Disney characters from every story in the company’s extensive portfolio. To Indy, it’s like a high school reunion that never ends.
By day, Club 33 caters to the elite class of Disneyland. The moneyed, cultured and pampered who consider a $20,000 initiation fee and $7,500 annual membership the equivalent of tip money. The waiting list for the exclusive club reportedly stretches for more than a decade.
But by night, the Disney characters turn the elegant bistro into a cross between a raucous frat house and a rowdy German beer hall. At the closest table, Donald Duck, Goofy and the animals play flip cup to thunderous cheers. Nearby, Olaf, the Seven Dwarfs and other sidekicks build a towering pyramid of drinking cups. Over in the corner, Cruella de Vil, Jafar and a host of villains play poker with a pile of chips at the center of the table.
Cruella surreptitiously pulls a card from the draped sleeve of her dalmatian-spotted fur coat. Jafar marks the back of a card with the laser eyes of his cobra snake staff. The Big Bad Wolf and Emperor Zurg pass cards to one another under the table.
“Leota is the only one not cheating,” says Mickey Mouse.
The playing cards levitating in front of the Haunted Mansion crystal ball containing the spirit medium's floating head reveal an impossible hand containing five aces.
“That’s what they think,” Madam Leota says in a stage whisper.
After a jam-packed day, the undisputed king of Disneyland has stripped down to his high-waisted red shorts. With the strength of Atlas, the Mouse carries the weight of an entire entertainment empire on his slender black shoulders. Mickey takes a long drag on his cigar and exhales acrid-sweet smoke over Indy’s fedora.
“Where have you been?” Mickey asks. “Darth’s been looking for you.”
"Where is he?" Indy asks, scanning the room.
"Over there with Buzz," says Mickey, pointing with his cigar.
The ornamented dining room is filled with animatronic tigers, bears and vultures that move with repetitive robotic motions. Framed animation cels depicting scenes from classic Disney films line the walls.
Gaston raises his pewter mug, climbs atop a table and breaks into song as Indy winds his way across the room.
"I use antlers in all of my decorating," bellows Gaston.
The heroes and alpha males drinking with Gaston join him in a rousing chorus of the pub song from "Beauty and the Beast." The animatronic deer, antelope and moose mounted on the walls sway in unison and sing along.
"How are we going to stop this dirty, rotten, filthy, no-good Star Wars land?" says Darth Vader, pounding his black gloved fist on the table.
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Sample chapters
Prologue: Once Upon a Time
Chapter 1: Wonderful World of Disney
Chapter 2: A Whole New World
Chapter 3: Exile on Main Street USA
Chapter 4: Evil Plans
Chapter 5: Real Princesses of Disneyland
Chapter 6: Action Figure
Chapter 7: Code R
Chapter 8: Common Foes
Chapter 9: Peace, Love & Mickey
Chapter 10: Operation Death Star
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